Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
