And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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