Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
