So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's official drugs can't kill me
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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