i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
