And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
