Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
