Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
