I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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