it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
