I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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