i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
