I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
