it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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