his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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