I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
