Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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