He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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