the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
