Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
