Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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