I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
bring money and cleavage
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
How does one acquire holy water?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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