she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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