We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
