Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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