You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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