Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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