Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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