hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
