I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
