I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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