East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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