I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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