I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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