Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
