As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
