At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
