I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
