dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
