I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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