never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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