remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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