Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
