i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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