Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
COCAINE IS GR8
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
