Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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