She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
