last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
