i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
