Me. At least after what I've been through.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
