Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize