I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
