Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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